Ok, so yesterday at the oncologist was quite the experience.
I had had in the last few days this nagging pain somewhere in my back, about where my right kidney will be. It's a weird pain, it feels like there is something holding there, you know, like when you button a shirt that is too tight. I know I had the same sensation back in 1992 when I had a kidney stone, and with one of the last MRIs showing I have kidney cysts (which all doctors assured me is very common for my age and totally harmless) I was worried. But, it doesn't really feel like a kidney pain, because when I press there (there is a specific point) it feels like there is something bothering me right under the skin. It's right at the end of the scar from the Latissimus Dorsi harvesting incision. The oncologist, Dr. Gregory Parker said that he thinks that I might have a bruised (or even hairline fractured) rib and there is some swelling in that area. I think that I probably broke the scar tissue (as I have a very large area of scar tissue right under the skin there) and probably that is messing up. Anyway, he said that if it doesn't go away in a month or if it gets worse he's order a scan.
He also ordered lots of blood tests. I love him. He's one of those doctors who discusses with the patients about all their worries, and about all the aspects of the treatment, even dieting and life-style. He also told me I need to start walking more. Went today and got some very comfortable walking shoes - nothing "brand" or expensive. Guess I'll start going around the neighborhood in the morning.
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Little bugs.
This is something I wrote last year, but it's still actual now.
On of my online "sisters" (read: breast cancer sisters) recently was complaining on how hard pressured she feels about "being the good cancer patient", while she was feeling guilty for not having any urges to go backpacking to "rah rah meetings" to give speeches as a model cancer patient/survivor. Of feeling like she's doing it all wrong all the time. All these little things, like little bugs creeping over her life.
I think that I have my little bugs too. Even if I was never (well maybe in my teenagehood) affected by what others said and thought. My motto was always "is this person important to me? Does their opinion affect my life, my career, my family? Are they the ones who pay my bills and do my laundry and cook for me? NO? Then why in the world I would give a rat's turd about what they think?" - oh, and also, numerous times I was not afraid or shy to tell them in their faces the exact same thing.
I had my share of "get your backpack on and go". So if now I get any kind of hints on that, I remind those persons of what I did and ask them what exactly did they do themselves in this respect. To the "I think you should..." and "if I were you I would..." I reply "well, when you will have breast cancer and go through this yourself, then feel free to do so".
This is MY life and I live it how I think it should be lived, not how others think. Yes, I had the bad luck of getting BC - but then I will make the best of what I have left. I do have my up and downs, like everybody else. When I get the blues of "I cant' do this or that" I look back and say "yes, but I did this, and that, and that" and then maybe spend my time remembering the beauty of what was. It is a treasure that BC cannot rob me of.
Maybe I should feel ashamed, but I was never impressed by declarations of "xxx disease made me a better person", to be honest, I always thought the disease must have done something to those people's head. How in the world can one be grateful for this? Such a hypocrisy, in the run for the spotlight. Ask ANY of those people, if there was a miracle and they could change this "wonderful experience" and this "better person" they've become to NOT having cancer, would they refuse it? Really?
Did BC make me a "better person"? Not at all. It just made me a different person. Maybe even a worse person by some people's standards, but who cares about them?
At this time in my life I am less forgiving. Little dramas and spotlight shows that in the past I would overlook and let pass, now I either shove out of my life, or call to attention the person doing it. If they don't like it and don't change their behavior, then good riddance. I don't know how much of my life I have left, but I am determined to NOT have room in it for unimportant things.The disease made me re-assess the values and importance of things and people in my life.
I will never always choose what is less important over me sitting in the garden watching the squirrels cajoling or me playing my favorite online game. How I want to live my life is more important than what a doctor, a "friend" or an acquaintance thinks.
I might have no power on the length of my life, but I do have the power on the quality of it.
And who doesn't like it, oh well, too bad. I don't care.
On of my online "sisters" (read: breast cancer sisters) recently was complaining on how hard pressured she feels about "being the good cancer patient", while she was feeling guilty for not having any urges to go backpacking to "rah rah meetings" to give speeches as a model cancer patient/survivor. Of feeling like she's doing it all wrong all the time. All these little things, like little bugs creeping over her life.
I think that I have my little bugs too. Even if I was never (well maybe in my teenagehood) affected by what others said and thought. My motto was always "is this person important to me? Does their opinion affect my life, my career, my family? Are they the ones who pay my bills and do my laundry and cook for me? NO? Then why in the world I would give a rat's turd about what they think?" - oh, and also, numerous times I was not afraid or shy to tell them in their faces the exact same thing.
I had my share of "get your backpack on and go". So if now I get any kind of hints on that, I remind those persons of what I did and ask them what exactly did they do themselves in this respect. To the "I think you should..." and "if I were you I would..." I reply "well, when you will have breast cancer and go through this yourself, then feel free to do so".
This is MY life and I live it how I think it should be lived, not how others think. Yes, I had the bad luck of getting BC - but then I will make the best of what I have left. I do have my up and downs, like everybody else. When I get the blues of "I cant' do this or that" I look back and say "yes, but I did this, and that, and that" and then maybe spend my time remembering the beauty of what was. It is a treasure that BC cannot rob me of.
Maybe I should feel ashamed, but I was never impressed by declarations of "xxx disease made me a better person", to be honest, I always thought the disease must have done something to those people's head. How in the world can one be grateful for this? Such a hypocrisy, in the run for the spotlight. Ask ANY of those people, if there was a miracle and they could change this "wonderful experience" and this "better person" they've become to NOT having cancer, would they refuse it? Really?
Did BC make me a "better person"? Not at all. It just made me a different person. Maybe even a worse person by some people's standards, but who cares about them?
At this time in my life I am less forgiving. Little dramas and spotlight shows that in the past I would overlook and let pass, now I either shove out of my life, or call to attention the person doing it. If they don't like it and don't change their behavior, then good riddance. I don't know how much of my life I have left, but I am determined to NOT have room in it for unimportant things.The disease made me re-assess the values and importance of things and people in my life.
I will never always choose what is less important over me sitting in the garden watching the squirrels cajoling or me playing my favorite online game. How I want to live my life is more important than what a doctor, a "friend" or an acquaintance thinks.
I might have no power on the length of my life, but I do have the power on the quality of it.
And who doesn't like it, oh well, too bad. I don't care.
Doomsday
Ok, I do have a thing against "doomsday worshipers" and "conspiracy theory" addicts. Big time.Don't get me wrong, there are many things going on in this world, many hidden things, many terrible things.
But there are people who see in everything and anything either the "doomsday prophecy" or the "conspiracy".
Let's take the first ones. First of all, yes, there are so many things that could go wrong. I am sure that there is something that has started to happen, and soon more things are going to happen, that will not be that good for humanity in general.
No, I do not believe in an "end of the world date", like December 21, 2012. Ok, let's take this one, for example. It is supposed to be the date the world will end by the Mayan prophecy. Didn't find myself anything of the sorts in the prophecy, but let's get past it. December 21, 2012. 12/21/2012. Ok, how does this make sense. Numerologically speaking, occult numbers have a tendency to present a symmetry. So, this date written in reverse would be 21021221. No symmetry. Even if we try to write the date by the rest of the world's standards (not the American ones), 21/12/2012, reversed it's 21022112.
Doesn't make sense, does it? 21/02/2012 (American date style)would make sense, but noooooo, they want the Winter Solstice. Has to be on the Winter solstice. Why? beats me.
Some people go as far with the obsession as to see "meaningful" numbers everywhere.
Example.
Yes, this is the young woman who "predicted" the big earthquake in Japan (sheer luck, if you ask me), who is obsessed with "comet Elenin" and who, sometime before the end of March has posted a video that "something bad is going to happen" and she is running away in the mountains and advises everyone to go away from the coastal areas. Nothing happened, she didn't post any more videos, but on her channel it can be seen she logs in almost daily. Well, she had her 5 minutes of fame and then blundered big time.
Now, the conspiracy theory ones.
There is this young guy on youtube, who did stumble on some interesting "coincidences" when it comes to earthquakes (well, minus the conspiracy theory part) and if he would have gone on that line with his videos, he would probably have been really successful. He gathered quite a number of followers for a while. But recently it seems he's obsessed with HAARP. And "HAARP rings". You know, those shapes that sometimes appear on certain types of radar, either circular or square or sometimes in other shapes, when they put in motion the decluttering "devices". Yes, in his opinion those are "HAARP rings". Not only that, but whenever there is a "HAARP ring" there will be a tornado (or an earthquake, take your pick). Recently, there was this storm line that appeared "out of nowhere", and stretched across the country, and right on the spots where he had noticed on the Intellicast radar some "HAARP rings" (note: the Intellicast radar is one of the radars that does show these weird shapes sometimes because of their method of removing the clutter). The storm that had produced that tornado in Iowa. Yessir, it was HAARP. It doesn't matter it's middle of April almost, it's the Midwest and Southern Plains, and for times immemorable, that means storms and tornadoes. And that the typical way the storms develop is "out of nowhere" (read: when the cold dry air from the north meets the warm humid air from the Golf of Mexico) and forms the typical lines of storms that go SW to NE and usually stretch from SW Texas tot he Great Lakes, moving eastward. Always.
What is the most frightening, are some of the comments to his videos.
Examples:
"I have never seen storms like that in my life" - really, dude? Are you several months old or something?
"On the NLE 2011 FACT sheet it clearly states it will "Simulate a catastrophic earthquake in the central United States" How do you duplicate an actual earthquake to occur?? They have the power and technologies. If you know anyone in that region you should warn them. Don't trust the government." - This one made me almost fall off my chair laughing. Sorry, young man, simulation does not equal duplication. What's next? Believing that in Civil War re-enactments people actually kill each other?
"I noticed some weird massive rings over texas/mexico yesterday when the line really did blow up all the way across. Perfectly at the center of the massive ring was Corpus Christi. Another one was Del Rio. It looked as if the storm line was being shot out from those locations like a solar flare or an eruption. It was unusual to say the least." - About as unusual as flowers blooming in spring, yes.
Anyway. I have a feeling these are subjects I will return to quite often.
But there are people who see in everything and anything either the "doomsday prophecy" or the "conspiracy".
Let's take the first ones. First of all, yes, there are so many things that could go wrong. I am sure that there is something that has started to happen, and soon more things are going to happen, that will not be that good for humanity in general.
No, I do not believe in an "end of the world date", like December 21, 2012. Ok, let's take this one, for example. It is supposed to be the date the world will end by the Mayan prophecy. Didn't find myself anything of the sorts in the prophecy, but let's get past it. December 21, 2012. 12/21/2012. Ok, how does this make sense. Numerologically speaking, occult numbers have a tendency to present a symmetry. So, this date written in reverse would be 21021221. No symmetry. Even if we try to write the date by the rest of the world's standards (not the American ones), 21/12/2012, reversed it's 21022112.
Doesn't make sense, does it? 21/02/2012 (American date style)would make sense, but noooooo, they want the Winter Solstice. Has to be on the Winter solstice. Why? beats me.
Some people go as far with the obsession as to see "meaningful" numbers everywhere.
Example.
Yes, this is the young woman who "predicted" the big earthquake in Japan (sheer luck, if you ask me), who is obsessed with "comet Elenin" and who, sometime before the end of March has posted a video that "something bad is going to happen" and she is running away in the mountains and advises everyone to go away from the coastal areas. Nothing happened, she didn't post any more videos, but on her channel it can be seen she logs in almost daily. Well, she had her 5 minutes of fame and then blundered big time.
Now, the conspiracy theory ones.
There is this young guy on youtube, who did stumble on some interesting "coincidences" when it comes to earthquakes (well, minus the conspiracy theory part) and if he would have gone on that line with his videos, he would probably have been really successful. He gathered quite a number of followers for a while. But recently it seems he's obsessed with HAARP. And "HAARP rings". You know, those shapes that sometimes appear on certain types of radar, either circular or square or sometimes in other shapes, when they put in motion the decluttering "devices". Yes, in his opinion those are "HAARP rings". Not only that, but whenever there is a "HAARP ring" there will be a tornado (or an earthquake, take your pick). Recently, there was this storm line that appeared "out of nowhere", and stretched across the country, and right on the spots where he had noticed on the Intellicast radar some "HAARP rings" (note: the Intellicast radar is one of the radars that does show these weird shapes sometimes because of their method of removing the clutter). The storm that had produced that tornado in Iowa. Yessir, it was HAARP. It doesn't matter it's middle of April almost, it's the Midwest and Southern Plains, and for times immemorable, that means storms and tornadoes. And that the typical way the storms develop is "out of nowhere" (read: when the cold dry air from the north meets the warm humid air from the Golf of Mexico) and forms the typical lines of storms that go SW to NE and usually stretch from SW Texas tot he Great Lakes, moving eastward. Always.
What is the most frightening, are some of the comments to his videos.
Examples:
"I have never seen storms like that in my life" - really, dude? Are you several months old or something?
"On the NLE 2011 FACT sheet it clearly states it will "Simulate a catastrophic earthquake in the central United States" How do you duplicate an actual earthquake to occur?? They have the power and technologies. If you know anyone in that region you should warn them. Don't trust the government." - This one made me almost fall off my chair laughing. Sorry, young man, simulation does not equal duplication. What's next? Believing that in Civil War re-enactments people actually kill each other?
"I noticed some weird massive rings over texas/mexico yesterday when the line really did blow up all the way across. Perfectly at the center of the massive ring was Corpus Christi. Another one was Del Rio. It looked as if the storm line was being shot out from those locations like a solar flare or an eruption. It was unusual to say the least." - About as unusual as flowers blooming in spring, yes.
Anyway. I have a feeling these are subjects I will return to quite often.
Monday, April 11, 2011
Quite some time
Ok, it's been quite some time since I wrote in here. Been busy like crazy.
My sweetheart left for Afghanistan this past Saturday. I cannot believe I will not see him for such a long time - he is supposed to be there for a whole year. I hope he will be able to come home in a vacation - he should have a 2 week one.
Yes, I cried after he left. I tried not to cry in front of him, as he was feeling bad enough as it is. But after he left the flood gates broke.
There are a few things I want to write about - some things about my garden, some things about "how can sheeple be manipulated" and a few other things, but right now I need to start getting ready to go to a dr. appointment. Where I will probably get my behind chewed for not being able to bear laying down for an hour and a half for an MRI, because my back started hurting so bad.
Oh well. Later.
My sweetheart left for Afghanistan this past Saturday. I cannot believe I will not see him for such a long time - he is supposed to be there for a whole year. I hope he will be able to come home in a vacation - he should have a 2 week one.
Yes, I cried after he left. I tried not to cry in front of him, as he was feeling bad enough as it is. But after he left the flood gates broke.
There are a few things I want to write about - some things about my garden, some things about "how can sheeple be manipulated" and a few other things, but right now I need to start getting ready to go to a dr. appointment. Where I will probably get my behind chewed for not being able to bear laying down for an hour and a half for an MRI, because my back started hurting so bad.
Oh well. Later.
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Facebook campaign.
Oh my! Oh woe! Last year it was the "bra color" so called breast cancer awareness. Now it's the "fruit" breast cancer awareness. Not even remotely related to cancer, or breasts for the reason (unless you can consider pear and apple and avocados and such a type of breast shape, but what do you do with raspberries and grapes?), just "for fun" and "to confuse guys". What does "confusing guys" have to do with breast cancer awareness?
From the point of view of a breast cancer survivor, this is so insensitive that it's beyond words. People with empty minds not able to see better than Charlie Sheen's last stunt and the last "survivor" and "dancing with the stars" are flocking in. Some are in such a hurry to join this game, that not only didn't realize they are not supposed to post on the event's page, just in the status, but some got so carried by the wave that they are still in the "bra color" stage and post "zebra print" instead of fruits. And then you'll have women all over crying out loud that they are objectified and considered empty-headed ninnies.
This time I got so upset tht I started a Facebook event of my own.
It's not about breast cancer awareness. It's not about weird, "fun" statuses. It's about getting as many participants as possible by the end of May then challenges the big dudes, like mark Zuckerberg, Bill Gates, Donald Trump, ya know? to donate $1 for each participant to a non-profit that provides financial help to breast cancer patients who cannot afford treatment.
Join in this effort!
The REAL Breast Cancer Facebook game
From the point of view of a breast cancer survivor, this is so insensitive that it's beyond words. People with empty minds not able to see better than Charlie Sheen's last stunt and the last "survivor" and "dancing with the stars" are flocking in. Some are in such a hurry to join this game, that not only didn't realize they are not supposed to post on the event's page, just in the status, but some got so carried by the wave that they are still in the "bra color" stage and post "zebra print" instead of fruits. And then you'll have women all over crying out loud that they are objectified and considered empty-headed ninnies.
This time I got so upset tht I started a Facebook event of my own.
It's not about breast cancer awareness. It's not about weird, "fun" statuses. It's about getting as many participants as possible by the end of May then challenges the big dudes, like mark Zuckerberg, Bill Gates, Donald Trump, ya know? to donate $1 for each participant to a non-profit that provides financial help to breast cancer patients who cannot afford treatment.
Join in this effort!
The REAL Breast Cancer Facebook game
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
One step forward, one step back
Ok, so this morning I got wonderful news. Last week I had a head/orbital scan; my eyes were acting kind of funny, so my eye doctor - who is a specialist in Graves eye disease - had ordered one. He called me this morning to say that there was only a mild thickening of the eye muscles (quite common in people with Graves Disease) but that there was no evidence of tumors anywhere. Phew!
Now the bad part came at noon. I had to go for an MRI of the right hip and femur. I started having lower back, and hip pain back in December. If I stood up for more than 15 minutes, the pain was there, and if I wouldn't sit right away, it would get so bad I needed a cane to walk.
My oncologist ordered a lower spine MRI in February. That one came with only "mild hypertrophy of the facets" so a mild arthritis possibly. The pain though got worse and this time involving the right hip. So he ordered another MRI.
The problem was, the moment they made me lay down on the MRI "table" I knew I was in trouble. It was already hurting. When they said that it would take about an hour and a half for the scan, I started thinking that I wouldn't be able to bear it. And I was right. I tried to go as much as I could, and the pain was just getting worse and worse, until I just had to call them to take me out. If I could have been able to stand it for 10 more minutes, it would have been wonderful. But I couldn't. I had to be helped to get up, and then I needed a wheel chair to get back to my car.
Yes, I feel like crying right now. And you know what? I have the right to.
I hate cancer. I hate that it came in my life, interrupting it, when I was as happy as I haven't been in a long time. I hate the year and a half of hell I've been through with the surgeries and the chemotherapy. I hate all these lingering side effects I'm struggling with. I hate it, I hate it, I hate it.
Now the bad part came at noon. I had to go for an MRI of the right hip and femur. I started having lower back, and hip pain back in December. If I stood up for more than 15 minutes, the pain was there, and if I wouldn't sit right away, it would get so bad I needed a cane to walk.
My oncologist ordered a lower spine MRI in February. That one came with only "mild hypertrophy of the facets" so a mild arthritis possibly. The pain though got worse and this time involving the right hip. So he ordered another MRI.
The problem was, the moment they made me lay down on the MRI "table" I knew I was in trouble. It was already hurting. When they said that it would take about an hour and a half for the scan, I started thinking that I wouldn't be able to bear it. And I was right. I tried to go as much as I could, and the pain was just getting worse and worse, until I just had to call them to take me out. If I could have been able to stand it for 10 more minutes, it would have been wonderful. But I couldn't. I had to be helped to get up, and then I needed a wheel chair to get back to my car.
Yes, I feel like crying right now. And you know what? I have the right to.
I hate cancer. I hate that it came in my life, interrupting it, when I was as happy as I haven't been in a long time. I hate the year and a half of hell I've been through with the surgeries and the chemotherapy. I hate all these lingering side effects I'm struggling with. I hate it, I hate it, I hate it.
Monday, March 21, 2011
The gardens
So. I finally finished the flower beds in the front yard. It was the work of a week. Two years ago it would have taken me a few hours.
I think it will take a long, long time for me to recover the strength of my arms and hands, at least partially. I know it will never be the way it was before.
What's different, you ask? Well, in 2009, when I was diagnosed with breast cancer, I had opted to have a bilateral mastectomy, as I didn't want to possibly go through the same crap again with the other breast - great idea, as the pathology showed it was getting ready to get the big C word too - and also have an immediate reconstruction.
The reconstruction was of the kind that is called a "Latissimus Dorsi flap". They take the big muscles that run from underarm to your waist, they cut them at the waist-line end, they turn them around under the skin, and they put them on your chest. To hold implants. Normally, a piece of skin is taken too, to replace the breast skin that was taken during the mastectomy. I didn't need that, as I had a skin sparing mastectomy. Well, in the long run, I discovered that I wouldn't have needed the LD flap anyway, but I guess my plastic surgeon wanted to add more stuff to his portfolio. It was a harsh experience. For some reason, my battered chest did not like what was going on, and the result was a complete butcher job. I was furious at my plastic surgeon. Especially when I saw how easy he was taking everything, and with the "we'll fix that at the revision". Before the revision, a year after the main surgery, he told me that he couldn't understand what had happened. He did the revision ( I am glad I didn't ditch him to go to another surgeon) and he created a work of art. My new breasts look fabulous, and the most important, very natural. Like the breasts I had when I was 17, only double the size (couldn't convince him to put smaller implants). And on top of that, I will never need a bra for the rest of my life! Can you imagine? a 80 years old with perky boobs? bwahahaha!
Anyway. When it comes to the "look" part, everything is wonderful. When it comes to the quality of life part, it's horrendous. He realized too late that this is not a surgery to use on an ex-gymnast, because we have that muscle well developed and the torso relies on it very strongly when it comes to stabilizing the torso upright. Initially he had said "only if you are a professional swimmer or tennis player you might have problems". That was true... not!
I would say my arm and hand strength is now probably around 25% of what it was. I can't open jars - or even a coke bottle - by myself. If I wash dishes, and there is something to scrub, I can do the scrubbing motion for about 10 times after which I am in pain. If I stand up for more than 10 minutes or if I sit for more than 30 (without a back rest), my back hurts.
He also forgot to say that for the rest of my life I will not be allowed to do any exercises that work out the pectoral muscles - because that would move the implants (my implants are covered by the chest muscle totally, then the upper part by the pectoralis major muscle, and the bottom part by the latissimus dorsi muscle). There is no worry about overworking the latissimus dorsi muscle though, as it is by now separated from the pedicle. It was really annoying in the first year, after the first surgery, as any move I would make with my arm, my new "breasts" would start jumping up and down or flatten towards my armpit. I felt like a monster.
Anyway, this is how the LD flap is realized:
So, now you see why my flower beds took so long to do. But - and this is the most important - I did it!
And they look good.
I think it will take a long, long time for me to recover the strength of my arms and hands, at least partially. I know it will never be the way it was before.
What's different, you ask? Well, in 2009, when I was diagnosed with breast cancer, I had opted to have a bilateral mastectomy, as I didn't want to possibly go through the same crap again with the other breast - great idea, as the pathology showed it was getting ready to get the big C word too - and also have an immediate reconstruction.
The reconstruction was of the kind that is called a "Latissimus Dorsi flap". They take the big muscles that run from underarm to your waist, they cut them at the waist-line end, they turn them around under the skin, and they put them on your chest. To hold implants. Normally, a piece of skin is taken too, to replace the breast skin that was taken during the mastectomy. I didn't need that, as I had a skin sparing mastectomy. Well, in the long run, I discovered that I wouldn't have needed the LD flap anyway, but I guess my plastic surgeon wanted to add more stuff to his portfolio. It was a harsh experience. For some reason, my battered chest did not like what was going on, and the result was a complete butcher job. I was furious at my plastic surgeon. Especially when I saw how easy he was taking everything, and with the "we'll fix that at the revision". Before the revision, a year after the main surgery, he told me that he couldn't understand what had happened. He did the revision ( I am glad I didn't ditch him to go to another surgeon) and he created a work of art. My new breasts look fabulous, and the most important, very natural. Like the breasts I had when I was 17, only double the size (couldn't convince him to put smaller implants). And on top of that, I will never need a bra for the rest of my life! Can you imagine? a 80 years old with perky boobs? bwahahaha!
Anyway. When it comes to the "look" part, everything is wonderful. When it comes to the quality of life part, it's horrendous. He realized too late that this is not a surgery to use on an ex-gymnast, because we have that muscle well developed and the torso relies on it very strongly when it comes to stabilizing the torso upright. Initially he had said "only if you are a professional swimmer or tennis player you might have problems". That was true... not!
I would say my arm and hand strength is now probably around 25% of what it was. I can't open jars - or even a coke bottle - by myself. If I wash dishes, and there is something to scrub, I can do the scrubbing motion for about 10 times after which I am in pain. If I stand up for more than 10 minutes or if I sit for more than 30 (without a back rest), my back hurts.
He also forgot to say that for the rest of my life I will not be allowed to do any exercises that work out the pectoral muscles - because that would move the implants (my implants are covered by the chest muscle totally, then the upper part by the pectoralis major muscle, and the bottom part by the latissimus dorsi muscle). There is no worry about overworking the latissimus dorsi muscle though, as it is by now separated from the pedicle. It was really annoying in the first year, after the first surgery, as any move I would make with my arm, my new "breasts" would start jumping up and down or flatten towards my armpit. I felt like a monster.
Anyway, this is how the LD flap is realized:
So, now you see why my flower beds took so long to do. But - and this is the most important - I did it!
And they look good.
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