Meh

Been fighting with some pain in the last three days. Today is the worst of them all. Almost cancelled my physical therapy this morning, but then I thought "nah, I'll just drag my sorry behind there". I did that, then stopped at the health food store and got some rose petals for my plant tea, some garbanzo beans flour (I make a killer bread with it) and a couple more things, then stopped at the Family Dollar store to get planters (the plastic ones are the cheapest there) so I can transplant the green salad mix I had seeded a week ago, but that will have to wait til tomorrow. By the time I got home I could barely walk. Got 2/3 of a Percocet pill and I start feeling better.

It is interesting how a lot of my shoulder blade and shoulder pain were from tight muscles. These two ladies who work on me at the PT place are doing wonders. I've been in pain in those areas for almost three years and for the first time I am able to be pain free for hours at a time now. Hopefully in another couple of sessions I'll be pain free, at least for my shoulder.

Been reading some ER medical blogs. I have mixed feelings about the whole "chronic pain" and "drug seeker" thing.

Yes, I have been diagnosed with fibromyalgia. Do I believe I have it? No. I believe that: 1. a lot of my arm, shoulder and back muscles pain comes from the Latissimus Dorsi breast reconstruction, that the plastic surgeon messed up my shoulder and some other stuff in there but doctors don't like to blame other doctors, so they will not accept that; 2. chemo has messed up the pain signals in my brain/nerves; 3. a big chunk of the pains I have are brought in by the aromatase inhibitor I'm taking. I am NOT willing to take anti-depressants (Lyrica, Cymbalta, etc) for "fibro". I am NOT willing to take all kinds of arthritis medication. The side effects are way worse than the condition. I take glucosamine with MSM, vit D3, calcium, Fish oil to keep my joints and circulatory system in shape and I work out as much as I can, and work in the garden. If I have to take Percocets for another 3 years to help me deal with the aromatase inhibitor, so be it. My diet is quite healthy so the damage to my liver and kidneys should be minimal. Besides, I do not even take a full pill at a time. I go by 1/2 or 2/3 (depending on the pain level) when I am in more pain than normal. Yes, I am drug-dependent in order to be able to function properly. No, I am not a drug-seeker. Unfortunately, the OTC pain-killers like Motrin, Ibuprofen, tylenol, etc, do not work at all on me. Ultram doesn't either. Percocet takes the edge of the pain, and makes me able to function. Doesn't take the pain away completely. At least not in the quantity I take it - I am supposed to take 2 x 7.5 at a time, hell no!! I want my pain to go away so I can DO things, instead of laying around. If I take as much as they want me to, then I'll spend my days in a haze of drowsiness. No thank you. I want to live my life, as much as I have left of it.

So yea, I'm not in a very good mood today.

Another day of plans messed up by being in pain.

But, as a side note and just to bring in a smile: