You know, I wish the NWS in Norman would make a network of people who suffer from Arthritis. These people would go daily online to rate their pain level. This way I bet they'd get a much better forecast.
Anyway, I was thinking at one time - being a witch trained in weather working, with knowledge on meteorology, really pays off, lol.
Friday, May 25, 2012
Thursday, May 24, 2012
Meh
Been fighting with some pain in the last three days. Today is the worst of them all. Almost cancelled my physical therapy this morning, but then I thought "nah, I'll just drag my sorry behind there". I did that, then stopped at the health food store and got some rose petals for my plant tea, some garbanzo beans flour (I make a killer bread with it) and a couple more things, then stopped at the Family Dollar store to get planters (the plastic ones are the cheapest there) so I can transplant the green salad mix I had seeded a week ago, but that will have to wait til tomorrow. By the time I got home I could barely walk. Got 2/3 of a Percocet pill and I start feeling better.
It is interesting how a lot of my shoulder blade and shoulder pain were from tight muscles. These two ladies who work on me at the PT place are doing wonders. I've been in pain in those areas for almost three years and for the first time I am able to be pain free for hours at a time now. Hopefully in another couple of sessions I'll be pain free, at least for my shoulder.
Been reading some ER medical blogs. I have mixed feelings about the whole "chronic pain" and "drug seeker" thing.
Yes, I have been diagnosed with fibromyalgia. Do I believe I have it? No. I believe that: 1. a lot of my arm, shoulder and back muscles pain comes from the Latissimus Dorsi breast reconstruction, that the plastic surgeon messed up my shoulder and some other stuff in there but doctors don't like to blame other doctors, so they will not accept that; 2. chemo has messed up the pain signals in my brain/nerves; 3. a big chunk of the pains I have are brought in by the aromatase inhibitor I'm taking. I am NOT willing to take anti-depressants (Lyrica, Cymbalta, etc) for "fibro". I am NOT willing to take all kinds of arthritis medication. The side effects are way worse than the condition. I take glucosamine with MSM, vit D3, calcium, Fish oil to keep my joints and circulatory system in shape and I work out as much as I can, and work in the garden. If I have to take Percocets for another 3 years to help me deal with the aromatase inhibitor, so be it. My diet is quite healthy so the damage to my liver and kidneys should be minimal. Besides, I do not even take a full pill at a time. I go by 1/2 or 2/3 (depending on the pain level) when I am in more pain than normal. Yes, I am drug-dependent in order to be able to function properly. No, I am not a drug-seeker. Unfortunately, the OTC pain-killers like Motrin, Ibuprofen, tylenol, etc, do not work at all on me. Ultram doesn't either. Percocet takes the edge of the pain, and makes me able to function. Doesn't take the pain away completely. At least not in the quantity I take it - I am supposed to take 2 x 7.5 at a time, hell no!! I want my pain to go away so I can DO things, instead of laying around. If I take as much as they want me to, then I'll spend my days in a haze of drowsiness. No thank you. I want to live my life, as much as I have left of it.
So yea, I'm not in a very good mood today.
Another day of plans messed up by being in pain.
But, as a side note and just to bring in a smile:
It is interesting how a lot of my shoulder blade and shoulder pain were from tight muscles. These two ladies who work on me at the PT place are doing wonders. I've been in pain in those areas for almost three years and for the first time I am able to be pain free for hours at a time now. Hopefully in another couple of sessions I'll be pain free, at least for my shoulder.
Been reading some ER medical blogs. I have mixed feelings about the whole "chronic pain" and "drug seeker" thing.
Yes, I have been diagnosed with fibromyalgia. Do I believe I have it? No. I believe that: 1. a lot of my arm, shoulder and back muscles pain comes from the Latissimus Dorsi breast reconstruction, that the plastic surgeon messed up my shoulder and some other stuff in there but doctors don't like to blame other doctors, so they will not accept that; 2. chemo has messed up the pain signals in my brain/nerves; 3. a big chunk of the pains I have are brought in by the aromatase inhibitor I'm taking. I am NOT willing to take anti-depressants (Lyrica, Cymbalta, etc) for "fibro". I am NOT willing to take all kinds of arthritis medication. The side effects are way worse than the condition. I take glucosamine with MSM, vit D3, calcium, Fish oil to keep my joints and circulatory system in shape and I work out as much as I can, and work in the garden. If I have to take Percocets for another 3 years to help me deal with the aromatase inhibitor, so be it. My diet is quite healthy so the damage to my liver and kidneys should be minimal. Besides, I do not even take a full pill at a time. I go by 1/2 or 2/3 (depending on the pain level) when I am in more pain than normal. Yes, I am drug-dependent in order to be able to function properly. No, I am not a drug-seeker. Unfortunately, the OTC pain-killers like Motrin, Ibuprofen, tylenol, etc, do not work at all on me. Ultram doesn't either. Percocet takes the edge of the pain, and makes me able to function. Doesn't take the pain away completely. At least not in the quantity I take it - I am supposed to take 2 x 7.5 at a time, hell no!! I want my pain to go away so I can DO things, instead of laying around. If I take as much as they want me to, then I'll spend my days in a haze of drowsiness. No thank you. I want to live my life, as much as I have left of it.
So yea, I'm not in a very good mood today.
Another day of plans messed up by being in pain.
But, as a side note and just to bring in a smile:
Thursday, May 17, 2012
Diet
So, once the results came back for ultrasound I had about 3 weeks ago on my gallbladder showed that I am perfectly fine in that area, last week, on Monday (May 7) I started dieting again.
This time I didn't start with my "harsh diet" that makes you lose a pound a day, but with a much milder diet. It's May 10th and I lost 6 lbs. I'm quite happy.
What does the diet consist of? Simple. Roasted chicken, greens salad and grapefruit. I am allowed to eat during a day, also, a choice of: 2 squares of dark chocolate; or a fistful of dry fruit; or 2 slices of whole wheat bread (150 calories); or 2 kiwi fruit; or a few spoons of ice-cream; or something equivalent but the calories apport has to be under 200 calories and must not contain any fat except a little bit of olive oil or coconut oil, and except for the whole wheat bread, no carbs.
Two meals a day of the roasted chicken (the walmart rotisserie chicken kind) and greens salad (I buy the organic spring mix), one around 11 am and one around 6 pm, and grapefruit any other time during the day when I feel hungry.
If I keep going like this, by the time I will have the next revision surgery, the 1st of August I should have lost about 40 lbs.I hope I'll be able to stick to it.
This time I didn't start with my "harsh diet" that makes you lose a pound a day, but with a much milder diet. It's May 10th and I lost 6 lbs. I'm quite happy.
What does the diet consist of? Simple. Roasted chicken, greens salad and grapefruit. I am allowed to eat during a day, also, a choice of: 2 squares of dark chocolate; or a fistful of dry fruit; or 2 slices of whole wheat bread (150 calories); or 2 kiwi fruit; or a few spoons of ice-cream; or something equivalent but the calories apport has to be under 200 calories and must not contain any fat except a little bit of olive oil or coconut oil, and except for the whole wheat bread, no carbs.
Two meals a day of the roasted chicken (the walmart rotisserie chicken kind) and greens salad (I buy the organic spring mix), one around 11 am and one around 6 pm, and grapefruit any other time during the day when I feel hungry.
If I keep going like this, by the time I will have the next revision surgery, the 1st of August I should have lost about 40 lbs.I hope I'll be able to stick to it.
Wednesday, May 16, 2012
I am afraid to write it
I am afraid to write it, honestly. For two days I've felt better. Actually this morning I felt like a million bucks.
Even if I got my physical therapy appointment time all messed up. Tomorrow I have the appointment with the pain management doctor at 9:15 and today's PT was at 9:45. And I was there like a little flower all smiling at 9:10. Doh. I didn't mind, though, I found a couple of the Time magazines with really really interesting articles, so I didn't consider I've wasted my time waiting.
Anyway, I told the therapist that I have issues with one of the exercises I have to do home, so she switched me to another one. Then she gave me this massage on my shoulder blade, on the rib area where I have the "iron bra" and on the shoulder itself, and for almost an hour after that MY SHOULDER BLADE DIDN'T HURT. MY SHOULDER DIDN'T HURT. I COULD BREATHE WITHOUT HURTING. After that the pain returned, but I finally saw the light at the end of the tunnel.
Yes, both yesterday and today I still was in pain, but I felt good. I felt energetic. I felt like I was bouncing off the walls.
Aaaand I started another kind of necklaces. Photos later. But I have to post a photo of my latest achievement in the garden - I made another flower bed. This little garden of mine will look so good by the end of July! And the tomatoes are really rally tall, one of them is like 2' tall. And they're full of flowers. So soon I'll have new tomatoes. The cucumbers are growing, and I moved one of the bell peppers and I need to move another one, they didn't seem too happy where they were.
Anyway, here's the photos of the new flower bed, right in front of the new pergola that was built for the cucumbers/morning glories. I DO need to go to Lowes and get some thin wood to make "ladders" on the sides for the cucumbers and morning glories to have support to climb. The area you see that has some cardboard on it and some stepping stones will be a gravel walking path, continuing in front of and under the pergola and in front of the tomato box. Then a piece of fence going from my laundry room (the white siding building) to the corner of the neighbor's garage, so we can let the dogs out on the side of the house, so they won't mess up the garden. They'll still have an area about 40' long by 10 wide to run and do their business, and we want to cover that area with paving stones, easier to collect the "land mines" and to wash with a hose.
Even if I got my physical therapy appointment time all messed up. Tomorrow I have the appointment with the pain management doctor at 9:15 and today's PT was at 9:45. And I was there like a little flower all smiling at 9:10. Doh. I didn't mind, though, I found a couple of the Time magazines with really really interesting articles, so I didn't consider I've wasted my time waiting.
Anyway, I told the therapist that I have issues with one of the exercises I have to do home, so she switched me to another one. Then she gave me this massage on my shoulder blade, on the rib area where I have the "iron bra" and on the shoulder itself, and for almost an hour after that MY SHOULDER BLADE DIDN'T HURT. MY SHOULDER DIDN'T HURT. I COULD BREATHE WITHOUT HURTING. After that the pain returned, but I finally saw the light at the end of the tunnel.
Yes, both yesterday and today I still was in pain, but I felt good. I felt energetic. I felt like I was bouncing off the walls.
Aaaand I started another kind of necklaces. Photos later. But I have to post a photo of my latest achievement in the garden - I made another flower bed. This little garden of mine will look so good by the end of July! And the tomatoes are really rally tall, one of them is like 2' tall. And they're full of flowers. So soon I'll have new tomatoes. The cucumbers are growing, and I moved one of the bell peppers and I need to move another one, they didn't seem too happy where they were.
Anyway, here's the photos of the new flower bed, right in front of the new pergola that was built for the cucumbers/morning glories. I DO need to go to Lowes and get some thin wood to make "ladders" on the sides for the cucumbers and morning glories to have support to climb. The area you see that has some cardboard on it and some stepping stones will be a gravel walking path, continuing in front of and under the pergola and in front of the tomato box. Then a piece of fence going from my laundry room (the white siding building) to the corner of the neighbor's garage, so we can let the dogs out on the side of the house, so they won't mess up the garden. They'll still have an area about 40' long by 10 wide to run and do their business, and we want to cover that area with paving stones, easier to collect the "land mines" and to wash with a hose.
Sunday, May 13, 2012
It's been a while since I updated this blog on my new creations. I did continue to make the old style dragon's eye pendants, true, mostly on commission. They take close to 2 hours to make, each, so once they started to be known and wanted on the market I didn't make as many to have available and on hand. They are quite requested though, on etsy, at the various fairs I participate as a vendor, as well as from my two online stores. This is how they look like:
I started making a new style of dragon's eye pendants though, that I sell a tad cheaper, and more people can afford them. Also, they do not require as much time to make, only around an hour each. Here they are:
I also started a new line, of little "mother Goddess" pendants. I tried to give them a face of calm, serenity, compassion and love. They encompass all aspects of the Mother, and I work them in sacred space as well. I charge them to help with depression, feelings of sadness, not feeling loved, to give you spiritual healing and strength.
I hope you like them. I have other works, I'll post them some other time.
I started making a new style of dragon's eye pendants though, that I sell a tad cheaper, and more people can afford them. Also, they do not require as much time to make, only around an hour each. Here they are:
I also started a new line, of little "mother Goddess" pendants. I tried to give them a face of calm, serenity, compassion and love. They encompass all aspects of the Mother, and I work them in sacred space as well. I charge them to help with depression, feelings of sadness, not feeling loved, to give you spiritual healing and strength.
I hope you like them. I have other works, I'll post them some other time.
Thursday, May 10, 2012
More than disappointment
So, one of the (very) few online forums I am a member of, a couple days ago completely re-did their "face". a.k.a. switched to a new platform.
No, I am not happy. The number of forums I am a member of will be decreasing by one.
Let's see, why?
Well, obviously the first would be that I do not like the new format of the forum. It's crude, hard to navigate, the page design breaks about all the basic rules of webdesign, the colors are awful and totally inappropriate, the contrast between the background and the font give headaches and eye-watering to many members (me included), and more and more issues.
The main things though that made me decide to leave that forum, are:
1. It is a forum for breast cancer patients and survivors. Belonging to a non-profit organization who supposedly helps breast cancer patients and survivors. I know very well how much such an overhaul of a website would cost. The previous board they had was just fine. Didn't need practically anything else done. So, instead of using the donation money they always ask for to help a breast cancer patient/survivor, they decide to work on the board. On the board that didn't need anything done. Smells fishy to me. Smells like that kind of fish called "oh, my son/nephew/husband/fill-in-the-blank needs some money and he/she is sooooo good with webdesign".
2. There was an uproar of the members saying how much they hate the new platform. About approximately 98% of the members said they hated it, they had issues navigating, they had issues reading, a lot were uncomfortable having yet ANOTHER thing change in their life when they had to cope with so much already, etc. The response of the Moderators? "we will be ironing things and glitches out". No "we are sorry, seems everybody hates this, maybe we should go back to what we had". Not even "let's take a poll and see who wants to go back and who is happy". No "we will talk to the developer to change the layout/colors/ navigation if it bothers people so much". Nope. The higher-ups don't care.
Well, as a website owner/designer/developer - true, my highest number of members on a website is barely 5k, not 100k like the one in question - as I was saying, as someone in the business, I know that the rule no. 1 is "my members need to be happy; the success (and income) of my website comes from the members being happy".
Let me try and make a parallel. Let's say I would go to a local charity/support group and I would be a member there. Non-paying, but I'd make donations, so the support part would work better. I'd also be involved voluntarily in helping with the support. Then one morning when I'd arrive there, I'd be invited in a dark room, and asked to read some pamphlets to people I can barely see. I'd get a headache and strained eyes from trying to read with insufficient light. I'd barely find my bottle of water to sip when my throat gets dry from reading. It would be uncomfortably hot in the room. i'd go and complain to the higher-ups there and they'd say "oh well, too bad, so sad, this is how things are going to work from now on because we decided the director's nephew should re-do the electric system and he changed all the light-bulbs with 10 watts ones; and btw we used your donations to pay him". Would I go back? nope. Would I still help donating? Obviously not.
So, good-bye breascancer.org. I met some wonderful people there. But I've seen now your true colors.
No, I am not happy. The number of forums I am a member of will be decreasing by one.
Let's see, why?
Well, obviously the first would be that I do not like the new format of the forum. It's crude, hard to navigate, the page design breaks about all the basic rules of webdesign, the colors are awful and totally inappropriate, the contrast between the background and the font give headaches and eye-watering to many members (me included), and more and more issues.
The main things though that made me decide to leave that forum, are:
1. It is a forum for breast cancer patients and survivors. Belonging to a non-profit organization who supposedly helps breast cancer patients and survivors. I know very well how much such an overhaul of a website would cost. The previous board they had was just fine. Didn't need practically anything else done. So, instead of using the donation money they always ask for to help a breast cancer patient/survivor, they decide to work on the board. On the board that didn't need anything done. Smells fishy to me. Smells like that kind of fish called "oh, my son/nephew/husband/fill-in-the-blank needs some money and he/she is sooooo good with webdesign".
2. There was an uproar of the members saying how much they hate the new platform. About approximately 98% of the members said they hated it, they had issues navigating, they had issues reading, a lot were uncomfortable having yet ANOTHER thing change in their life when they had to cope with so much already, etc. The response of the Moderators? "we will be ironing things and glitches out". No "we are sorry, seems everybody hates this, maybe we should go back to what we had". Not even "let's take a poll and see who wants to go back and who is happy". No "we will talk to the developer to change the layout/colors/ navigation if it bothers people so much". Nope. The higher-ups don't care.
Well, as a website owner/designer/developer - true, my highest number of members on a website is barely 5k, not 100k like the one in question - as I was saying, as someone in the business, I know that the rule no. 1 is "my members need to be happy; the success (and income) of my website comes from the members being happy".
Let me try and make a parallel. Let's say I would go to a local charity/support group and I would be a member there. Non-paying, but I'd make donations, so the support part would work better. I'd also be involved voluntarily in helping with the support. Then one morning when I'd arrive there, I'd be invited in a dark room, and asked to read some pamphlets to people I can barely see. I'd get a headache and strained eyes from trying to read with insufficient light. I'd barely find my bottle of water to sip when my throat gets dry from reading. It would be uncomfortably hot in the room. i'd go and complain to the higher-ups there and they'd say "oh well, too bad, so sad, this is how things are going to work from now on because we decided the director's nephew should re-do the electric system and he changed all the light-bulbs with 10 watts ones; and btw we used your donations to pay him". Would I go back? nope. Would I still help donating? Obviously not.
So, good-bye breascancer.org. I met some wonderful people there. But I've seen now your true colors.
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
I'm dizzy
Yes, I am dizzy. Not vertigo-style, really, but like a mix of lightheadedness and slight vertigo.
It all started on the 20th of February. It was the third day after I had gotten a flu shot. I was chatting with J. online and suddenly I had this dizziness wash over me. The exact same kind like before passing out - yes, I know how passing out feels, I did pass out quite a few times when I was pregnant. It would start with this kind of dizziness then there would be a noise in my ears like the one you hear when you pour sugar from the bag into whatever container you keep the sugar in, and then I would see like a chicken-wire fence in front of my eyes and the eyes of the chicken-wire netting would start blacking out, until it was all black then I was gone. But this was just the dizziness.
I managed to tell J. what is going on, then I tried a few things - as in my mind were flashing the possible causes. Of course the first one was my blood pressure. I stood up and it didn't get worse (I was haging on to the door in case I'd faint). I went real quick to the bathroom for a no. 1 and it didn't get better (urinating usually decreases your blood pressure). I went then and had a glass of water. It didn't get better. It slowly got a tad better but the dizziness was still there. And it was still there for the following days. At one point, when it got good enough that I wasn't (too) afraid to drive, I went ahead and went to the neighborhood pharmacy, and bought a home blood pressure monitor. I took my pressure when I got home and it was HIGH. 157/89. I took another Metoprolol (I am taking that to prevent tachycardia from my hyper-thyroid) and it slowly went down, but not lower than 122/76. My normal blood pressure is 100-110/66-76. I also felt like my head was going to explode. Of course I thought I might have been having a TIA and didn't recover. Then thinking about the congestion I felt, I thought maybe I had a sinus infection (again). So, having some Keflex in the house I started taking it. About 2 hours after I took the first dose, the dizziness went away. I'm still taking it, I still have bouts of dizziness here and there, but overall it's not as bad as it was. I told J. that if it gets worse I will go to the ER, and it will be to the point of calling an ambulance not driving myself there. I just want to be able to go to the fair I'm supposed to go at the end of this week.
To say that I'm convinced (and for a while now) that there is something that is not right with my brain? Of course I am convinced. I also have (maybe due to the dizziness) the feeling that I am in a permanent dream-state.
I just hope that if there is anything, I can last until J. comes back home. That was my fear since all this happened (as we knew then he would have to deploy at one point), that something would happen to me and I wouldn't see him again.
I hope, I so hope and pray that won't happen.
It all started on the 20th of February. It was the third day after I had gotten a flu shot. I was chatting with J. online and suddenly I had this dizziness wash over me. The exact same kind like before passing out - yes, I know how passing out feels, I did pass out quite a few times when I was pregnant. It would start with this kind of dizziness then there would be a noise in my ears like the one you hear when you pour sugar from the bag into whatever container you keep the sugar in, and then I would see like a chicken-wire fence in front of my eyes and the eyes of the chicken-wire netting would start blacking out, until it was all black then I was gone. But this was just the dizziness.
I managed to tell J. what is going on, then I tried a few things - as in my mind were flashing the possible causes. Of course the first one was my blood pressure. I stood up and it didn't get worse (I was haging on to the door in case I'd faint). I went real quick to the bathroom for a no. 1 and it didn't get better (urinating usually decreases your blood pressure). I went then and had a glass of water. It didn't get better. It slowly got a tad better but the dizziness was still there. And it was still there for the following days. At one point, when it got good enough that I wasn't (too) afraid to drive, I went ahead and went to the neighborhood pharmacy, and bought a home blood pressure monitor. I took my pressure when I got home and it was HIGH. 157/89. I took another Metoprolol (I am taking that to prevent tachycardia from my hyper-thyroid) and it slowly went down, but not lower than 122/76. My normal blood pressure is 100-110/66-76. I also felt like my head was going to explode. Of course I thought I might have been having a TIA and didn't recover. Then thinking about the congestion I felt, I thought maybe I had a sinus infection (again). So, having some Keflex in the house I started taking it. About 2 hours after I took the first dose, the dizziness went away. I'm still taking it, I still have bouts of dizziness here and there, but overall it's not as bad as it was. I told J. that if it gets worse I will go to the ER, and it will be to the point of calling an ambulance not driving myself there. I just want to be able to go to the fair I'm supposed to go at the end of this week.
To say that I'm convinced (and for a while now) that there is something that is not right with my brain? Of course I am convinced. I also have (maybe due to the dizziness) the feeling that I am in a permanent dream-state.
I just hope that if there is anything, I can last until J. comes back home. That was my fear since all this happened (as we knew then he would have to deploy at one point), that something would happen to me and I wouldn't see him again.
I hope, I so hope and pray that won't happen.
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